Specialties
Difficulty making decisions
Struggling to make decisions — from the smallest ones to those that mark a before and after — is more common than it seems. When the block repeats constantly, it creates significant wear and, often, the feeling of being "stuck" in your own life.
How this block shows up
Difficulty deciding can appear as constant indecision over everyday choices, or as a real block when facing important decisions: a job change, a relationship, a move. In both cases it's usually accompanied by going over the same options repeatedly, without reaching any conclusion that feels safe.
It's also common to postpone the decision indefinitely, delegate it to other people, or finally make it and regret it almost immediately.
Why deciding is so hard
Behind this difficulty there is usually a fear of making mistakes, perfectionism (looking for the "perfect" decision instead of a good-enough one), or little trust in your own judgement.
Fear of the consequences of the decision also plays a role, especially when a past mistake was faced with a lot of harshness, or when deciding badly is believed to define who you are as a person.
When might it be time to seek help?
- When you notice everyday decisions cause you disproportionate wear and tear.
- If you systematically put off important decisions out of fear of getting them wrong.
- When you depend on other people's opinions to decide practically anything.
- If you frequently regret your decisions, even when they were reasonable at the time.
How we work on difficulty making decisions in therapy
- We look together at exactly what happens during the process of deciding: which thoughts and fears come up, and at what point the block occurs.
- We work to strengthen your own judgement and your tolerance for uncertainty, which is an unavoidable part of any decision.
- The goal is for you to gain the autonomy and confidence to decide more readily, accepting that no decision is free of risk.
Frequently asked questions about difficulty making decisions
Why is it so hard for me to make decisions, even minor ones?
It's usually related to a fear of getting things wrong or a very high level of self-demand about what counts as a "correct" decision. In therapy we explore the specific origin in your case.
Can this be worked on if the decision is already urgent?
Yes. Although the therapeutic process gets better results with time, specific tools can also be worked on to help you face a decision you need to make right now.
Does making better decisions mean I'll never get it wrong?
No. The goal isn't to eliminate the risk of error, which is unavoidable, but to gain the confidence to decide despite uncertainty and to handle the consequences with more calm.
Want to work on difficulty making decisions?
Write to me and let's talk, with no obligation, about your specific situation.