Specialties
Shyness
Shyness is a very common trait and, in the right measure, isn't a problem. It becomes a reason to seek therapy when it limits things you'd like to do: speaking in public, meeting new people, expressing your opinion, or simply feeling comfortable being yourself around others.
When shyness becomes an obstacle
A certain degree of shyness is part of who many people are and doesn't need any "fixing". The reason to seek help appears when it causes significant distress: avoiding situations you'd like to experience, feeling intense anticipatory anxiety before a social encounter, or being left with the feeling that you couldn't show up as yourself.
It's common for shy people to feel constantly watched and judged, which leads to an exhausting level of self-monitoring and self-control.
What's behind limiting shyness
Behind shyness there is often a fear of others' judgement, high personal demands about how one "should" behave socially, or previous experiences that reinforced the idea that putting yourself out there is risky.
It can also be related to self-esteem: when we have little confidence in what we have to offer, it becomes harder to feel comfortable taking up space in a conversation or a group.
When might it be time to seek help?
- When you avoid important social or professional situations out of fear or embarrassment.
- If shyness causes noticeable physical discomfort (blushing, sweating, freezing up) in social situations.
- When you feel shyness has cost you opportunities you would have liked to take.
- If it's hard to express what you think or feel even with people you trust.
How we work on shyness in therapy
- We start from your specific situation: in which contexts shyness shows up most strongly and what keeps it going (thoughts, fears, past experiences).
- We work gradually, moving at a pace you can sustain, so that gaining ease becomes a positive experience rather than a new source of pressure.
- The goal is for you to move through social situations with more freedom and in a way that's coherent with who you are, without the fear of others' judgement deciding for you.
Frequently asked questions about shyness
Can shyness be resolved in therapy?
Therapy can help you understand what's behind your shyness and develop tools to relate to social situations with more comfort, always at your own pace.
Is shyness the same as social anxiety?
Not always. Shyness is a personality trait that can coexist with different levels of distress; social anxiety involves more intense distress and more marked avoidance. In the first session we can assess together what best fits your case.
Will we work on specific social skills?
Yes, when it's useful for your case, the work can include both the emotional side (fear of judgement, self-demand) and practical tools to communicate with more ease.
Want to work on shyness?
Write to me and let's talk, with no obligation, about your specific situation.