Specialties
Insecurity
Insecurity shows up as constant self-doubt: about your own abilities, decisions or worth. It can appear in one specific area of life — work, relationships — or more generally, and it's usually accompanied by a need for external confirmation.
How insecurity is experienced day to day
Insecurity can show up in small things — hesitating before sending a message, checking an already finished task several times — or in bigger decisions, where it's hard to trust your own judgement and you constantly seek other people's opinions before acting.
It's also usually accompanied by comparing yourself with others, fear of making mistakes and their consequences, and a sense of always being "one step behind" in different areas of life.
What's behind insecurity
Insecurity usually builds up from experiences where mistakes were met with a lot of harshness, very critical or demanding environments, or a lack of spaces where you could get things wrong without serious consequences.
It can also be fuelled by perfectionism: when the bar we set for ourselves is impossible to reach, the feeling of never quite measuring up becomes constant.
When might it be time to seek help?
- When you systematically doubt your decisions, even in everyday matters.
- If you need other people's constant validation to feel confident about what you're doing.
- When the fear of making mistakes holds you back from trying new things.
- If you notice insecurity is affecting your work performance or your relationships.
How we work on insecurity in therapy
- We explore together in which situations insecurity shows up most, and what feeds it: personal demands, past experiences or beliefs about what it means to get something wrong.
- We work so you can increasingly rely on your own judgement, gradually training your decision-making.
- The process aims for you to gain autonomy and your own sense of security, without depending on other people's constant validation to feel capable.
Frequently asked questions about insecurity
Are insecurity and low self-esteem the same thing?
They're closely related, although not exactly the same: insecurity has more to do with confidence in your own abilities and decisions, while self-esteem is the overall value you place on yourself. It's common to work on them together.
Can insecurity be worked on in a specific area, such as work?
Yes, it's very common to come to therapy for insecurity in one specific area of life. The process adapts to your specific situation.
How long does it take to gain confidence in yourself?
There's no fixed timeframe, since it depends on each person and situation. What is constant is that changes are gradual and require time and commitment to the process.
Want to work on insecurity?
Write to me and let's talk, with no obligation, about your specific situation.