Specialties
Grief
Grief is the natural response to a significant loss. It is not an illness, nor something that must be "fixed" within a set period: it is a process each person moves through in their own way. Therapy is not here to speed it up or spare you the pain, but to accompany you as you go through it — particularly when you feel you have become stuck at a point you cannot move past.
What we mean by grief
Grief is the process of adaptation that follows a significant loss. It is most often associated with the death of a loved one, but it also appears with other losses: a separation, the loss of a job or of a life project, a diagnosis that changes what you expected of your future, or the end of an important stage.
It does not follow orderly stages, nor does it have an end marked on the calendar. Sadness, anger, guilt, relief, confusion or even moments of apparent normality commonly appear, alternating with no obvious logic. Feeling several of these at once, or feeling them in an order you did not expect, does not mean you are doing it wrong.
When grief becomes complicated
Most grieving processes are worked through without therapy, with time and the support of those close to you. Seeking professional help makes sense when the process becomes stuck: when time passes and the intensity does not ease, when daily life is still on hold months later, or when the loss has remained impossible to put into words.
Some circumstances also make the process harder in themselves: sudden or traumatic losses, relationships left with unresolved conflict, grief that could not be shared or that those around you do not recognise as legitimate, or several losses in quick succession.
When might it be time to seek help?
- When considerable time has passed and you feel you are in exactly the same place as at the beginning.
- If you systematically avoid places, objects or conversations connected to the loss, and that avoidance limits your life.
- When guilt or self-reproach take up most of what you feel.
- If those around you expect you to "be fine by now", and that leads you to hide how you really are.
- When the loss has had a sustained effect on your sleep, your work or your relationships.
How we work on grief in therapy
- We begin by making room for the loss exactly as you experience it, without sorting it into stages or comparing it to how it "should" be.
- We work on whatever is keeping the process stuck: unfinished conversations, guilt, self-reproach, or the sense that moving forward would be a betrayal.
- The aim is not to stop feeling the absence, but to be able to carry it in a way that lets you inhabit your life again.
Frequently asked questions about grief
How long does grief last?
There is no normal duration and no timeframe that can be given in advance: it depends on the loss, the relationship and each person's circumstances. What can be assessed in session is whether the process is moving forward or has become stuck.
Does going to therapy mean I am grieving badly?
No. Seeking support is not a sign that you are doing it wrong; many people come simply because they want a space of their own to talk about the loss without having to manage the listener's reaction.
Can grief therapy be done online?
Yes. The online format keeps the same structure and professional rigour, and for some people it is more accessible at times when leaving the house feels especially hard.
Is grief therapy only for bereavement?
No. Other significant losses are also worked on, such as separations, the loss of a job or life project, or changes that mean giving up what you expected of your future.
Want to work on grief?
Write to me and let's talk, with no obligation, about your specific situation.